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A married woman with two children has shared her experience and sought advice over ongoing issues in her seven-year-old marriage, saying she feels neglected and uncomfortable whenever she travels with her husband to their village for Christmas celebrations.
According to her account, the problem began last year when the family planned to travel home for Christmas. She said she asked her husband to give her money to buy foodstuffs they would use during their stay in the village, but he ignored her request. She explained that they have their own house in the village, separate from the family house where her mother-in-law lives with two of her children.
Despite having their own home, the woman said her husband spends most of his time at his mother’s house whenever they visit. She alleged that he regularly asks his mother what they will eat for the day and gives her money to buy food. The meals are then prepared by her sister-in-law and served to her husband first.
She said she is often called afterward to come and dish her own portion, a situation she finds disrespectful and hurtful. At times, she chooses not to eat the food because she does not like how it was prepared, opting instead to go to the market to buy ingredients and cook for herself.
The woman said one incident that upset her deeply was when her cousin came to visit her during the Christmas period. She went to her mother-in-law’s apartment to ask for rice to cook for her visitor, and although she was given the rice, she felt embarrassed and unhappy. She said she believes she should be able to stock her own house with food, even if it is just half a bag of rice, instead of relying on her mother-in-law.
She expressed frustration that she cannot freely cook what she wants in her own home and questioned why her husband prefers to fund meals at his family house rather than support her to manage her own kitchen. According to her, money is not the problem, but she does not understand her husband’s reluctance to give her money to stock food for their household.
With Christmas approaching again, she said her husband has insisted they will travel to the village, but she has already told him she does not enjoy Christmas at home under the current arrangement. She said she asked him either to allow her stay back or to give her money to stock their house properly, but his response has been discouraging.
She also questioned the practice of her husband being served food separately while she is treated like an afterthought, saying she believes meals should be served to them together as husband and wife, or she should be invited to dish their food herself.
The woman said she is now confused and emotionally tired, wondering if she is overreacting or if her feelings are valid. She is seeking advice on how to handle the situation peacefully without causing conflict in her marriage, while also preserving her dignity and comfort.
Her story has sparked discussions among married women and family counselors, many of whom say communication, clear boundaries, and mutual respect between spouses are essential, especially during family visits and festive periods.
She has requested to be notified when her story is shared, hoping that the advice she receives may help her find clarity and peace in her marriage.
