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Life is not always fair. Sometimes the very dreams we hold on to with hope and sacrifice can take a different turn, leaving us in situations we never imagined. This is the painful reality of a 39-year-old university graduate who has shared his emotional story about humiliation, family struggles, and the silent pain of being dependent on his younger brother.
According to him, things were not always this way. After their father died, his family faced great hardship. His mother could only afford to sponsor one child through higher education. She sold their last piece of land, using most of the money to send him to university. The little change left was given to his younger brother to start a small business.
Luck smiled on the younger brother. The business grew and became a success story, while the graduate struggled. Even after almost ten years since graduation, he has not been able to secure a decent job in his field. His story is one that mirrors the experience of many Nigerian graduates who face unemployment and underemployment despite their certificates.
When their mother, the last parent they had, died three years ago, the two brothers only had each other. Out of kindness, the younger brother offered him a place to stay. He accepted, hoping for stability and peace. But things changed when his younger brother got married last year.
The wife, whom he describes as “nice enough” in other aspects, does something that has left him feeling disrespected. She only washes and irons her husband’s clothes, completely ignoring his. “Not a single pair of jeans, not one T-shirt—nothing,” he said bitterly. He expected that as the elder in the family, he would still receive some respect from his brother’s wife.
His frustration grew deeper when he noticed the double standard. Whenever his girlfriend comes around, she takes charge of the house. She washes his clothes, sometimes even adding his younger brother’s own. To him, this shows that kindness and respect should go both ways, but in his current home, it feels one-sided.
“I feel like she does not see me as family,” he lamented. “She sees me as a burden, a freeloader just taking up space. I am so angry I could scream. I am thinking about confronting her, but I do not know what to do. Should I swallow my pride or speak up? I only want to be treated with respect in my own home.”
His emotional cry reflects the silent tension many families face when financial roles and household dynamics shift. In African culture, an elder brother is often given respect, regardless of his situation. But in this case, the reality of dependency has tilted that balance, leaving him feeling less like an elder and more like a stranger in the very home that once gave him shelter.
The story has sparked discussions online, with many divided in opinion. Some argue that the wife has no obligation to wash his clothes since he is an adult who should take care of himself. Others believe she should show respect by treating him as part of the family. Beyond the arguments, his story highlights a deeper issue of dignity, pride, and the painful struggles of unemployment that continue to affect countless graduates in Nigeria.
As he seeks advice, his dilemma leaves a hard question hanging: Should family ties automatically guarantee respect, even when one is financially dependent, or does respect have to be earned through independence and responsibility?
Should I confront her about this, or just keep quiet to avoid problems in the house?
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