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A Nigerian man has sparked intense debate on social media after sharing a long and emotional account of his relationship with a woman he said he helped out of poverty, sponsored through school, married traditionally, and planned to take as a second wife—only for the marriage to collapse after she discovered he was already married.
According to the man’s account, he met the woman about four years ago while on a business trip to another town. He said she was selling bread by the roadside while carrying a child who was about two years old at the time. Moved by her situation, he began patronising her regularly and later spoke with her to understand her story.
He claimed the woman told him that her baby’s father had abandoned her during pregnancy and relocated to Canada, while his family rejected both her and the child. She was also said to be an orphan living under difficult conditions with relatives. Touched by her struggles, the man said he decided to help her without initially asking for a romantic relationship.
He stated that he rented a better apartment for her and her child, stocked it with food, and provided for their needs. He later asked her out, and she accepted. After about four months of dating, the woman reportedly told him she wanted to further her education and requested his support. He said he agreed and sponsored her through a professional nursing school, covering all her expenses.
The man explained that while he returned to Lagos for work, he continued to support her financially for about three years until she obtained her Registered Nursing (RN) certificate. Shortly after her graduation, he said he formally proposed with the involvement of his mother and uncles and carried out a traditional marriage ceremony.
However, he admitted that after the traditional wedding, he revealed to her that he was already married with children and intended to take her as a second wife. He said he delayed telling her earlier because he feared she might refuse to marry him.
According to him, the woman, who was allegedly two months pregnant for him at the time, reacted angrily. He claimed she terminated the pregnancy without his knowledge, moved out of the apartment he rented for her, and went to live with a friend.
The man expressed shock and disappointment, saying he never imagined that helping and investing so much in someone would end in what he described as betrayal. He argued that his marital status should not have been an issue, given his support and intentions.
He further disclosed that his first marriage of nine years has produced three children, but his wife was medically advised not to have more children due to complications from repeated caesarean sections. He said this was part of the reason he decided to take another wife, noting that polygamy is acceptable in his Igbo culture.
The man also claimed that the woman has threatened to refund the bride price paid during their traditional wedding and walk away from the marriage. In response, he made the public post to declare that he is married to her and warned other men not to see her as single.
“This is exactly two months that we’ve been married. She’s my wife and will always be,” he said, adding that he fulfilled all traditional requirements.
The story has generated widespread reactions online, with many Nigerians divided in opinion. While some sympathised with the woman, arguing that she was misled and had the right to reject being a second wife, others criticised the man for hiding his marital status and attempting to use past help as leverage.
The incident has once again raised conversations around honesty in relationships, consent in marriage, cultural expectations, and the boundaries between help and obligation.
