I Don’t Want to Lose Him”: Widow in Tears as Fiancé Demands Her Children Drop Their Late Father’s Name

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A 33-year-old Nigerian widow has stirred emotional reactions online after sharing her dilemma over a marriage proposal that comes with a controversial condition involving her children’s identity.

The woman, who lost her husband about a year and a half ago, said she has been raising her three children alone since his death. According to her, life has not been easy, but she has tried her best to provide and stay strong for her children—a four-year-old daughter and two-year-old twin boys.

She revealed that she recently found love again and is currently in a relationship with a man who has fully accepted her and her children. She described him as successful, caring, and emotionally supportive, adding that he treats her with a level of love and attention she never experienced in her late marriage.

“He makes sure my children and I lack nothing,” she said. “He even opened a mini supermarket for me because he doesn’t want me to stress. He spoils me with gifts and affection. Honestly, I feel more comfortable and happier with him.”

The woman disclosed that the man has now proposed marriage, and she has accepted. However, she said her happiness was shaken when he made a condition that before the wedding, her children must stop using their late father’s surname and instead take his own.

She explained that she asked him to give her time to consult her family, especially because her late husband had fully paid her bride price before his death. According to her, the man refused and insisted that her family should not be informed. He allegedly claimed he had connections within government offices that could quickly change the children’s names without delay.

This insistence has left the widow confused and emotionally torn.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I don’t want to lose him. I’m 33 years old, a widow with three children. What if I don’t find another man willing to marry me? I’m still young and I also deserve love and happiness like my mates.”

She added that part of her feels the name change may not be a big issue since the children are still very young, and she believes it could make it easier for her fiancé to fully assume the role of a father as they plan to become one family.

However, she admitted she is deeply troubled by the moral, cultural, and emotional implications of erasing her late husband’s name from their children’s identities.

Her story has sparked intense debate online, with many advising her to slow down and involve her family, while others warn that changing the children’s names without consent could lead to future regret and legal complications.

The situation has reignited discussions around widowhood, remarriage, cultural traditions, and the delicate balance between personal happiness and preserving a child’s identity and history.